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Clay Jars

Clay in the potters hands~

This morning in my quiet time I read from Jeremiah 18.  It was refreshing reading about the potter having the ability to form, create and make what he wanted out of the clay.  I can think of no greater example to express this life walking with Jesus.  Sometimes it is hard and we feel like we are hard pressed on every side.  Sometimes crushed, but not destroyed!  Yet, the “Potter”or in this analogy, Christ,  loves his creation and wants it to be something beautiful.  So it is in this life!  I would be amiss to say that the last few weeks have been easy on any of us…but I DO KNOW God is good!  He is faithful and He is molding something beautiful from the hardships.  I look forward to seeing what it is!

Kim's birthday!

Kim’s birthday!

Kim celebrated her birthday on Sunday.  Paul told the kids that she was “29” again, and a couple of the younger ones were pretty funny trying to figure out how she was the “older” sister if she was only 29.  =) Hehe.  Kim was pretty active this weekend.  Trying to get out and move around.  She is slightly going stir crazy at home and yet can not be out in big crowds too much.  She tries to wear a mask when around others and acts a bit like me when it comes to shaking hands now and being close to others.  (FYI also don’t try to hug her anytime soon either.  She loves you, but hugs come with a closer proximity and unknowing germs being passed to her that she doesn’t need right now.)  Anyway, we enjoyed celebrating her birthday here at our home.  The kids were all thrilled to be able to sing Happy Birthday to her and love on her a bit.  (Kim has not totally been cleared to drive yet, due to some lightheaded issues from chemo.  It is getting better.  My sweet nephew, Jacob, has helped me scoffer her around a bit when he can.

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Kim getting checked in for clinic. Looking a bit tired, but ready for a good report.

Monday we went to an oncology appointment.  It sounds like all of her numbers are coming up.  She is close to being out of the “danger” zone with her white blood count and neutrophils.  The doctor was hopeful that in the next two weeks or so, they would be returning to a more normal status.  That blows me away.  The chemo TOTALLY annihilated her system to ZERO, and yet, there is hope that they will be close to normal in the next few weeks.  Medical technology blows me away sometimes!  Kim is still really zapped from the chemo most days, along with the continuing saga of not eating, but her health seems to be heading in the right direction. =(  She has now reached 30 lbs down from where she started.  She says she can’t really “taste” anything.  She knows she is eating, but couldn’t tell you what the flavor was if she didn’t see it.

Doctor said Kim’s spleen feels like it has gone down quite a bit.  However, is still painful to the touch…or in the case of the doctor yesterday, a “good assessment”.  She didn’t climb off of the table when he “assessed” but sure did have some residual pain for a while after.  Praying that issue continues to improve too.  Our visit was a bit rushed yesterday due to a hospital emergency.  The floors were evacuated.  They came in several times while the doctor was in with us saying that we must leave.  He calmly said, we will get this done quick so that you can just go home instead of waiting to see what the issue was.  Consequently, we didn’t have a lot of time to ask questions about what was next.  We know that they will continue to monitor her blood, and honestly, will do this for the rest of her life just less frequently.  (A friend whose wife recently went through treatment said that more recent research says that the cells in the blood will show evidence of remission before the bone biopsy will.  We thought this was interesting as it was perceived opposite in recent years. What a blessing to have these dear people that have gone through a similar tough situation. They, like so many, have been a blessing and encouragement to us along this journey.)

The doctor then told her in a very humble fashion that she would need to have another bone biopsy.  He added, “If you would allow me to do it.  It is the only way that we could prove that you are truly in remission”!  The look on Kim’s face was priceless!!  She said her stomach did a flip even thinking about another one of those biopsy.  He reassured her that it would be done differently this time.  He also gave her some encouragement that he too has had one done.  And, if done with enough anesthesia and wait time, it would be greatly different.  I am praying that is true for Kim’s sake.

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The little bit of excitement coming out of the hospital yesterday. Kim was definitely humored by the fact that when we came out of the exam room the entire floor was dark, and NO ONE was left in any of the hallways.

On to today’s appointment.  But actually, before I go on, I must publicly give thanks to my mother-in-law.  As much as I am truly exhausted some days running back and forth, I could not do it with out her!  She has been with my children nearly every weekday for over the last MONTH!!!  Don’t know if you knew this or not, but FIVE KIDS TAKES A LOT OF WORK!!!  It is hard for me nearly every. single. day!!  To think that I am half her age, and yet she is pressing on helping where she can, is amazing.  Please say a prayer of endurance for her, as well as a special prayer for God to bless her in amazing ways for the help, love and care she has provided.  The days are a bit discombobulated with me trying to get school lessons done in the early morning, or the late afternoon evening (I forget sometimes how much our kids depend on me as a homeschooling mama, and how having anyone else try to teach them is likened to a substitute teacher. =)  We all remember how that was. lol.)  I wish that I could say that it has all been easy, but it has been rugged at times.  A friend reminded me again yesterday that this is all a part of my children’s “curriculum”, only it was not written in a book.  God knew!  He is faithfully working throughout each and everyone of these circumstances and situations teaching all of us more about His loving character.  Anyway, please continue to pray for Grandma and thank her when you see her for all of her help in being part of the team helping Kim.

Okay, on to today’s appointment.  Kim was seen by an obygn oncologist today.  Kim has had fibroids in her uterus for awhile now.  One of the first thoughts presented to us when she went into the hospital was that she had uterine cancer.  However, they had not done a biopsy to confirm or dismiss it.  So today, they did a uterine biopsy.  Kim wasn’t too happy about this somewhat painful process.  Sadly, she will ultimately need to have a total hysterectomy.  But, before they can think about doing that surgery, they need to know for certain that there are no cancerous cells present.  Also, it gives them a bit more time to wait for her to heal “if” there are no cancerous or precancerous cells present.  If there are, of course they will need to have a different plan.  She still does not have enough white blood cells to be safe for surgery, so we are obviously praying that there are no issues and that this was just a safety matter.

Kim has one more appointment this week with the cardiologist.  Her blood pressures have been all over the place in the last month.  They put her on medication for it and it seems to have stabilized.  (Oddly, they do not think that the leukemia and high blood pressures have anything to do with one another.)  However, with the chemo and weight loss, there is sure to be some tweaking of those med’s too.   Hoping, other than this appointment, the rest of the week is somewhat quiet.

Praying that Kim can continue to rest and eat.  She still seems to have a good day or two followed by a down day or three. But it has been good to see some of her energy returning, if only in spurts.  We are all so thankful for the prayers, love and kindness shown towards our entire family.  Somedays, it seems as though the clay pot is being remade, and others as though it is just being refined.  Thankful for a good Potter/God who does not leave us the way we are, but constantly is working to make us new and better individuals…even if by trials.

Thankful He journey’s with us! 

 

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