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Part the Waters Lord

This Fall has been such a blur.  There have been so many times that I start to sit down to write a post, and then…life takes over again.  I miss blogging.  It really is such a cathartic activity for me.  I need to find time to process and reflect on the amazing little blessings that are part of my life daily.  The days go by so slow at times with the many trials and hardships of trying to care and love the little miracles in my life. Yet, when I take the time to reflect I realize how very quickly the years are going by.

I love this picture.  (Although it doesn't have Megan).  It is such a great, fun picture. Love them dearly!

I love this picture. (Although it doesn’t have Megan). It is such a great, fun picture. Love them dearly!

This Fall has been an interesting one for me.  I continue to struggle to balance everything.  New baby, health and wellness of Rachel and the others, education with each kiddo, time to be a good wife, keeping a house organized and functioning…it all seems so overwhelming at times.  Although, I would NOT change my life for anything, this week it really hit me that much of my struggle is in finding gratitude for it all.  The Lord has been so good to us!  For every time I complain and feel overwhelmed, I need to LOOK UP!  Turn my eyes toward Jesus and be thankful.  The late nights and early mornings, the adjustment to newness in our schedule the pressure to keep things afloat, it all has the potential to make life overwhelming and unfortunately, many times it has.

Lesson learned this week.

This week there was a day when it all came to a pinnacle.  I had just gotten the kids started on their school work and they started goofing around (just a little bit of honesty here, most people that don’t homeschool think that “They could never do it.” But the reality, is that they could.  Most of the homeschooling mama’s I know feel like we can’t do it either.  But, somehow understand that it is ONLY by grace that “we can do it”.   AND, furthermore, most of the time it comes with much humility in having to tell the kids about the many times that we fail, and ask for forgiveness for our own sinful nature in dealing with their sinful nature. =) It is HARD, but Blessed work.)  Anyway, when the kids started goofing around, I lost it.  I didn’t raise my voice or say much, which was a small victory, but the intensity of frustration overtook my spirit.  There was no gratitude or thankfulness, just anger that I didn’t have it all together, nor that I could get my precious kiddos to get it together.  The emotion that was the strongest was fear.   I was (almost) at a lost…but I grabbed my Bible and went up to my room.  God is the ONLY answer.  As I sat there, the tears began to flow.  The knowledge of brokenness, and of failing (on so many fronts), gripped my heart.  The fear of things staying the same was strong.  But then I began to sing…as my mama taught me from very early.  So thankful for my mama’s example!!  One of the songs from my childhood that I heard my mama sing often “Part the Waters Lord”

When I think I’m going under, part the waters, Lord.
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea.
When I cry for help, O hear me, Lord, and hold out Your hand.
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.

Knowing You love me through the burden I must bear,
Hearing Your footsteps lets me know I’m in Your care,
And in the night of my life You bring the promise of day,
Here is my hand, show me the way.

When I think I’m going under, part the waters, Lord.
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea.
When I cry for help, O hear me, Lord, and hold out Your hand.
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.

Knowing You love me helps me face another day.
Hearing Your footsteps drives the clouds and fear away;
And in the tears of my life I see the sorrow You bore,
Here is my pain, heal it once more.

When I think I’m going under, part the waters, Lord.
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea.
When I cry for help, O hear me, Lord, and hold out Your hand.
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.

The tears flowed. As I sang and prayed I also committed to place my sweet children and life in the Lord’s hands.  As I have walked with the Lord over the many years, it is still a wonder to me that this choice is something that must be done daily.  Daily, I must commit to walk with Jesus.  To trust Him in guiding me.  To rely on HIS GRACE AND STRENGTH for Each. And. Every. Day!  I try to spend time with the Lord daily, but in the late nights and early mornings, and sickness of the last few months, this time has not been as focused as it needs to be.  When there is great work to be done, there is greater need for the Savior!  Reminded of this greatly this week.  I just turned 40 a few weeks ago, but am reminded that I still have so much to learn.  I also know that this lesson is one that I will most likely need to be reminded of next week, and possibly even tomorrow!

I have to say one of the joys of doing life together as a family is that sometimes our education is not simply book learning!  After my time with the Lord, I was able to come back and express my gratitude and ask for forgiveness to each of my children for my short temper and spirit that was not pleasing to the Lord.  We spent some time singing…they know many of the songs that I do in helping to get a heart right with the Lord.  Create in me a clean heart was sung loud and well. =)

Silly kids

Outtake from our family pictures.  We had more of these almost than any others…And I wonder WHY the days are sometimes hard to keep these beautiful souls on track. They are silly! Thankful for their sweet, unique personalities!

FYI Kids still goofed off for parts of the day admist their school studies.  But by the Lord’s grace, I was be thankful and discipline through love.  Parenting is hard work!!  And I am glad God is not finished with me yet!!

_MG_1979

End on a fun one from a family photo shoot last week. We were able to get our Christmas pictures done. =) Mama’s early gift from the family.

 

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