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Monday of Random Thoughts

Last week we were out of town on vacation/family reunion.  We had a blessed time, however….I am so glad to be back home.  The kids had a great time.  They especially loved the getting up at 6:30 am and not having to stop all day until close to 10pm every night.  (What happened to my good sleepers of toddler years?)  Their favorite was time spent with their cousins.  It would be so fun to have cousins that lived close.

Reunion-

I have a reunion with my mom’s side this next week.  It feels a bit weird to go with out my mom.  We are going, but…there is such great saddness attached to the thought of going.  There will be many of her cousins there. People she KNEW and spent lots of time with.   She had a very close family that got together ever Sunday after church for potlucks.  Oh, that would have been fun.  These days it seems that people are just too busy.  As we raise our children, it is my hope and prayer that they will be close like that.  That they will love one another in the deepest, most caring way. I look forward to get togethers when there are so many people in our house that we can hardly move- and that they are all family!!  That will be a great blessing of these sweet children from the Lord.

Dreams-

I have had a lot of dreams lately about my mom.  It seems like just about every  night she is in my dream in one way or another.  It is wild how that happens.  It has been a little over a year, 1 year and 1 month, and it blows my mind how the pain is still so very real, and yet it seems like she is a distant memory.  I can hardly remember what her voice sounds like, or the comfort to know that she was near.  I tell my children stories about her often, and try to talk about her daily.  I never want to forget her, yet…it seems as if she is slipping from my mind.  I know that it is the way of allowing life to go on, and the process of healing, but…I wish it wasn’t so.  I see others with their mothers and it makes me so sad.  my mom was the best.  I know that many of us daughters think this, but really my mom was amazing.  I miss her great, joyful, encouraging presence in my life.  So, I guess…I will continue to dream of her nightly. To remember her as I wish it could be.

Sports-

I love playing sports, I love everything about the joy of sports.  However, as I am on the other side of watching children play sports I feel a great sense of sadness.  Sports are not what they used to be.  Nathan and Caleb played baseball this year.  They had a great time.  However, I have had to deal with my own set of disappointments.  It seems these days unless you are on a select sports team you have no hope of being competitive in sports later on in life.  It also seems that you must choose at a young age which sport you want to participate in because you only have time for one with all of the practices, games out of town, off season practice.  UGGG!!!  I am a little sad for our children because although they have pretty good natural talent…but there is no way with our sweet family that we will ever be able to participate in select sports.  I am only consoled by the fact that Jesus is in control.  I know that whatever He has planned for us, He will make happen.  So for now, we will continue to play many sports in the front yard, and at the park.  We did sign Nathan up for football this year.  We will see how that goes.  I am trying to embrace the idea of running all over, unfortunately it is often at the expense of our family time.  I don’t know how many more sports we will do, but there is something fun about trying a few out.  God knows what is in store and we continue to pray for wisdom on knowing what to get involved in.

Okay, now that was a really random post.  Just a few of the bizarre thoughts going through my head today.  Hopefully the next post will be less random.

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