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More Than Words Can Say!!!

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I really don’t know how to express my gratitude for the uplifting love and support that was expressed to our family yesterday.  I was up late last night and early this morning trying to process the day that was so full of amazing emotions.  (I will apologize in advance, because I am sure this will be very long as I detail the events, feelings, and emotions of the day.  Although I write to share a piece of our lives and my heart with you, I also do it as a way of  attempting to bring joy from great sadness.  It is the Lord’s goodness and perspective that gets me through each day.  “My light and momentary struggles are working a far greater purpose.” )

So for the day, we woke early and were overjoyed that it was sunny with just a hint of wind.  Rachel woke and was a little sad that everyone was going except for her.  Paul’s cousins came up from Kansas to celebrate and walk with us, and praise the Lord the 5 year old cousin opted to go with Rachel to her play date.  It was with her favorite friend, Caysie.  We have had sickness in our house the last week and it finally made it to Rachel.  Rachel began the morning with non-stop coughing, the big ones that almost make her throw up due to the thickness of the mucus in her airways.  After treatment and breakfast we got her ready to go. Paul called just a minute after he left…Rachel threw up.  So he came home and got all the pills that she just had thrown up and we prayed for her safety for the morning.  My mama’s heart was saddened.

After Rachel was dropped off we loaded up an orange wagon, our signs and our balloons and headed out to the walk.  We got to the walk right at 9:30 there were already people from our team there.  From the time we got there we were busy passing out t shirts and collecting money.  It was amazing!!!! So much love, care and support!!  It was such a fun environment with clowns, ballooners, blow up slides and basketball games.  I was overwhelmed by the amount of people that showed up!  So many times when people say that they are coming…they may or may not come depending upon conveinence.  Everyone that said they would be there was there!! (We had a few people that let us know they couldn’t make it the night before.)  We had over 84 people that came in support of our family and the fight that faces Rachel each and every day!!!!  We were blown away!!

I was handeling the events pretty well, although every year among the joy and festivities I feel great sadness and soberness at the difficulties of this disease, the young people that have been lost to this dreaded disease, the “live life to the fullest” attitude and yet the many boundaries and restrictions that come with CF.  From hours of  treatments, to the huge pressure to consume lots of food, to germ avoidance, it is second nature at times and then at other times more than one should bear.  Most of the time I feel such an intense amount of isolation while we struggle and attempt to joyfully handle all that God has brought to our lives.  But on days like yesterday…to see so many people coming alongside us…I can not express the overwhelming feeling in words.  It is only by God’s grace that others would ever know what kind of joy they brought to my spirit and heart by their support yesterday.

My emotions did break at one point when the sponsors asked all of the families who deal with CF everyday to come and take a blue balloon to represent the life of your loved one that is struggling or that has passed.  Watching everyone come was more than I could handle.  The sadness overtook me!!! The flood gates of emotion and tears rose quickly to the surface.  Knowing what is done everyday, and the struggles that we face….and then knowing that there were so many others that were in this fight for their loved ones life too was incredible.  Carrying my balloon back to our group felt like an incredible weight and a visible sign of the heaviness that my heart carries around daily because of this disease that affects my baby girl.  Not someone else’s love, but my love!!  The one that I want to see play and be free of her health weights, to know that she will grow old, and get married, and experience the joy of having a family of her own someday. It was more than I could handle, the tears were choking me as I tried to make my way through the crowd.  All I wanted was to hide in the arms of my precious husband.  The one that shares this heavy, God allowed, burden daily with me!  Praise the Lord for an amazing man of God.  I was comforted and regained my resolve.

Next we lined up to take pictures quickly before the walk began.  WOW!!!  We took up a whole stairway.  It was awesome!!!  A team for Rachel.  People that have prayed for us through every cold, every struggle, brought us meals, encouraged us, financially supported us…these were the people that were behind us.  It was a feeling like no other.  I felt the heart and hand of God comfort me through His people.  Praise be to the God most high!  It is by His grace and strength that we are!!!  I have no words to express our gratitude…it is something that is more than words could ever say, but I say them anyway.  Thank you.

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2 Responses

  1. So incredibly honored to know you.

  2. Tiffany, Thank you for sharing the joys and sorrows of the day. Tears are falling as I read your words. Thanking God for the gift of encouragement He gave and for the Strength and Grace He will continue to provide…

    much love,
    Jennie

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