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React with Fear…Respond with Faith

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Pet. 1:3

Sometimes I feel like there are so many things that God is trying to teach me…and usually AT THE SAME TIME.

Lord, may my ears be open and my heart aware of the greatness of you and my absolute dependence.

Another situation last night that I am still rattling from. (Warning you in advance, this may be long as I am still trying to process the wonder of the Savior in protecting us.)   We had dinner and after dinner everyone wanted ice cream.  Except Rachel because she does not like ice cream- strange I know, but absolutely true.  Well, after scooping it out to everyone,  Paul made her have a small cone (which we almost never make her do).  Rachel’s cone was last.   Just as she had taken a few licks of her cone, Paul comments on how good this ice cream tastes.  PANIC!!!  It should have been the same kind that I always get.  The carton was still on the table and the quick ingredient warning was staring me in the face.  MILK, AND EGGS!!  Rachel has a life-threatening allergic to eggs.  (She has only had two exposures to them and both of them were not pretty.  One, her lungs were closed and heart was almost stopped!!)  I freaked!!!  I noticed her face turning read, and grabbed her almost dragging her to the bathroom (no idea why that seemed the thing to do. I think I was going to try to make her spit, brush her teeth…sheer adrenaline!!!  But..there was really nothing really to do other than watch and wait and PRAY!!  Which we did.  Of course with allergies you usually don’t have to wait to awful long to see what your next step is.   If is it going to go south, that generally happens right before your eyes and then epinephrine shot and out the door to the hospital.  We watched, and watched, and prayed.  All of our children were visible shaken during this process, they too have seen her react before and understand the great seriousness.  Praise the Lord, after the first few moments of  intense fear, we were pretty sure that she was not going to have a major reaction (involving  respiratory problems).  Her lips swelled a little (not as bad as the past) and I could clearly see that her cheeks were flushed with the swelling too.

An hour after this whole ordeal I was still shaking and so frustrated!!  I hate allergies and sickness!!  But this morning as I reflect, I am  so reminded of the Lord’s incredible faithfulness.  This was a time that we could see clearly with our eyes His direct answer to our pleas for  rescue.  There are many times when I feel like He is right beside me watching, loving, protecting.  But, there are also those times when I ask the question, “Does Jesus Care?”.   The answer to that is an emphatic YES!

Last night as we saw there was not an immediate reaction,  I still struggled with fear.  Paul and I immediately prayed for protection for Rachel, and yet…I was terrified.  First of all, it was me who brought the forbidden food into our house (a true oversight, I have looked at thousands of food labels in the last 7 years),  a mistake.  I was so frustrated with myself.  This was something I didn’t mean to do, and yet I was reminded this week that there are many times that I knowingly do things that have a harmful effect on those around me with out giving it much thought.  Not spending enough time with Jesus everyday,  getting easily frustrated at my children, being short with my husband,  to name just a few. However, I don’t have the same response!  I don’t feel deeply grieved in my spirit like I did last night over my mistake.  Lord I want you to change my heart and spirit so that I see sin like you do and yet know the amazing grace that comes only from you.

This morning I was blessed by the Lord.  First a reminder of His protection.  Second for His word that is such an encouragement to my soul.  ***Make every effort to add to your faith godness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control perseverance, and to perseverance godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness, LOVE.  If you posses these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord…. For if you do these things you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  2 Peter 1:1

This is what I desire.  Lord, teach me to know you more.  Even if it is through difficult ways.  You are good and glorious.  THank you for your love, protection, and desire to grow me to be more like you.


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