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Tired and Weary

Today has been one of those days where I allowed the situations and circumstances of the day rule my mood.  It seems at times that this life is so full of up’s and down’s that it is hard to stay grounded.  I know that the grounding is only possible with the Spirit of the living God.

The morning started out  nice and early with hopes for meeting with my Father for reading and worship.  Shortly after I came down this morning…little footsteps followed.  I was frustrated and yet wanting to extend grace and kindness to my little blessing.  Rachel was so excited that she finally got to wear big girl pants to bed and they were dry this morning.  I wanted to celebrate in her joy, and yet was so fighting the frustration of needing my quiet time this morning.  I chose to celebrate!  I praise the Lord for His grace that He gives even in little situations like that.  I know that the Lord was pleased by my love shown to her this morning.

Caleb coughed all night long last night.  Rachel has been on an antibiotic and steroids this last few weeks fighting off a lung exacerbation.  So, now with Caleb’s cough, my spirit and heart are  so down and weary.  This disease of cystic fibrosis is exhausting.  I can only imagine what it does to precious Rachel.  It is her lungs that struggle and are taxed with simple joys of childhood.  It is her body that just feels like it can eat no more, and yet is pushed to the limit each and every meal. It is her body that must endure the endless handfuls of pills, pounding and being forced to do things that no four year old should half to do.  BUT, it feels like it is us that has to fight to make those things happen.  I am tired, and I know the Lord knows.  I am calling out for strength and energy to continue the fight for each of her breaths and every pound.  I know that it is not in my strength, but in His alone.  I like the quote, “Work as if it all depends on you, and act as if it all depends on Him”.  I am praying for protection.  Rachel was coughing a lot this morning and afternoon.  God you know what is going on and you alone are the only one that can protect her.

** Precious Father, you know this life and the struggles we have on a daily basis.  The ones that at times seem more than we can handle.  You also know how this story will go.  I praise you for your comfort, and for your wisdom.  I also praise you for being here with us on this journey.  I know that you are good.  I know that there is much I don’t see- you are working.  Continue to work in my heart through tough things.  Change me, challenge me to live a life that is dependent on you.**

Good night.

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